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Sample GED Essay

28th July 2008

Sample GED Essay

posted in GED Essay, GED Writing, Revising |

Hi again everyone! I hope the GED studying is going good. Doing well on the essay part of the GED writing test really helps your score… a better score on the GED essay can make a big difference for your overall GED writing test score. And one thing that always helps me is to look at example essays.

Here’s an essay by a GED student that might help you! It has a few grammar problems in it, but overall it’s a pretty good essay. Let me say, first, it’s good to start out by stating your opinion at the beginning of an essay, like this one. I think that overall the structure of the essay is good. The writer starts out by telling what his opinion is, and then relates it to his real life. Then, he gives reasons why he has that opinion, and ends with a conclusion. This is a structure that works!

The essay has got some grammar problems… I’ve put my notes on how to fix them in bold and blue in the essay below… These grammar issues are not as important as the structure, but improving them always helps!

The essay topic is whether it’s harmful for both parents of a preschool child to work outside the home. Here’s the essay:

Based on our opinion, (You don’t need to say “Based on our opinion” or “I think” in an essay.) it is harmful for both parents to work outside before a child’s preschool. My ex-wife (Madeline) and I decided in order to avoid any problems for our child we decided (You can remove “we decided,” because it’s already in the sentence, where it says “I decided.”) to split the hours in our jobs. Madeline would work days and I at night. The reason for these shifts is to always have one of us with our child. And while one of us were (”was” is correct) with our child we share (should be “shared”) the house chores also.

According to the media, there has (have) been day-cares, baby-sitters, or even some one (someone) close; (no semicolon is needed) who would: (no colon is needed) spank, shake, starve, and yell to any child they would take care off. (”of,” not “off.”) These situations brought us to our attention and fear. (This sentence is a little awkward… Maybe it would be better to say, “When these situations were brought to our attention, we were filled with fear.”)

I recommend a child to be in care of a parent (Adding “because he or she” would make this sentence clearer.) would be more prepared before pre-school. There is no other comparison, (it needs the words “with being,” or say “Nothing can be compared to being…”) taught by both parents, other than (it should say “instead of,” not “other than.”) some one (someone) else or agency. Parents can bring (”raise” would be a better word choice than “bring”) a child healthy, smarter, clean, and disciplined.

So when a child reach to an age (”reaches an age”) to start school they are well prepared. In my opinion, these are the reasons why both parents should be able to work out a schedule to spend the time with his or her (You can say “there” “their” here, because you used the plural “parents” before.) child. All the time dedicated, means a lot to a child.

I like the ending. I think the last sentence sounds good. What do you think? Can you make any other improvemens to this essay, or find a way to make it sound better? When you look through your own GED essay, try reading it quietly out loud to yourself or in your head, to see how it sounds. Use your ear to hear if it sounds right..or natural. That’s the best way to fix any mistakes!

Let me know if you need any help with your GED essay!

For more information about the GED test and GED test preparation, visit The GED Academy at http://www.passged.com, or call 1-888-880-2164.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 2:48 pm and is filed under GED Essay, GED Writing, Revising. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 12 responses to “Sample GED Essay”

Why not let us know what you think by adding your own comment! Your opinion is as valid as anyone elses, so come on... let us know what you think.

  1. 1 On September 9th, 2008, ALISA said:

    I PLAN ON TAKING THE GED TEST OCTOBER 18TH,AND I THINK THAT STUDYING FOR THE ESSAY PART ON THIS WEBSITE WAS VERY HELPFUL.

    THANKS,
    ALISA,MO

    posted on September 9th, 2008 at 4:30 pm

  2. 2 On September 27th, 2008, Mai Sunday said:

    Shouldn’t the word “their” be used as opposed to th word “there” followed the word chiden?

    posted on September 27th, 2008 at 1:56 pm

  3. 3 On October 7th, 2008, Liz said:

    You’re right… “there” should be “their.” I guess that goes to show how you always need to pay attention, especially to those commonly confused words like there, their, and they’re, and like your and you’re. Thanks!

    posted on October 7th, 2008 at 11:10 am

  4. 4 On October 7th, 2008, Liz said:

    Oh, and good catch!

    posted on October 7th, 2008 at 11:11 am

  5. 5 On October 11th, 2008, Leesa said:

    You lost me in your greeting. “I hope the GED studying is going GOOD.” Eeeeek!

    posted on October 11th, 2008 at 9:49 am

  6. 6 On October 21st, 2008, Liz said:

    Ah, Leesa, you caught me… but trust me, no one is going to mark you off on your GED essay for saying “good” instead of “well.”

    posted on October 21st, 2008 at 12:28 pm

  7. 7 On April 10th, 2009, Heather said:

    The topic sentence should be repeated at the beginning of the conclusion paragraph.

    posted on April 10th, 2009 at 6:39 am

  8. 8 On April 10th, 2009, Liz said:

    Heather, I totally disagree. Repeating your topic sentence makes your writing formulaic, not authentic. It’s a sign of someone who’s been taught by “rote” to write a specific kind of flat, formula essay, not someone who knows how to write. The conclusion should restate (in a new way!) your main idea, but it should also add to your main idea. It needs to come to some conclusion about what you’ve written, an overarching idea or extension of your ideas. It certainly shouldn’t repeat what you’ve said before. That’s not good writing.

    posted on April 10th, 2009 at 7:12 am

  9. 9 On April 19th, 2009, simon said:

    does anyone know what kind of eesay they give on GED?

    posted on April 19th, 2009 at 5:58 pm

  10. 10 On April 21st, 2009, Liz said:

    Simon,

    That’s a good question. The GED essay is a 45-minute exam, and you have to write an essay responding to one prompt. The prompt will ask you about a topic that relates to your life or that you’re likely to be familiar with. It might ask you your opinions or experience. You’ll need to write a response that completely responds to the prompt, that’s well organized, that’s easy to read (without too many mistakes), that has details, and that hopefully says something interesting!

    An example of a GED writing prompt might be:

    Many people are interested in researching their family history and cultural heritage. Explain why this might be important and what people learn about themselves from their family background. Use your personal observations, experience, and knowledge to support your essay.

    You won’t know the subject of the essay before your test, so you need to be prepared to think about the topic and compare it to your life. For example, with this topic, I’d think about my own background. What have I learned from my grandparents? What do I know about my own family background, and have I ever tried to find out more? Do I know anyone who’s researched their family background? Why did they want to do that? Linking the topic to your life really helps you write a good essay.

    Liz

    posted on April 21st, 2009 at 6:31 am

  11. 11 On November 3rd, 2009, Brock said:

    I have A.D.D and staying on task is really hard for me I have been to take practice tests for the GED and would have passed if the essay was not a part of it. I also have a few problems when it comes to writing. Do you know of any good methods to stay on task.

    posted on November 3rd, 2009 at 11:23 am

  12. 12 On November 4th, 2009, Liz said:

    A.D.D. can be tough! First, have you checked whether you qualify for extra time or breaks because of your A.D.D.? It’s at least worth looking into. There’s information on the ACE GED website: http://www.acenet.edu/Content/NavigationMenu/ged/test/Take/Accommodations_Disab.htm

    Now, you may or may not be able to get accommodations, depending on your medical history. There are still things you can do to maintain focus. One is breaking apart the essay into smaller tasks. Write a list on your notepaper of the things you’re going to do:
    1) Read the prompt and restate it in my own words:
    2) Make an outline of a main idea, two supporting ideas, and a conclusion:
    3) Write an intro paragraph:
    4) Write the first body paragraph:
    5) Write the second body paragraph:
    6) Write the conclusion:

    That gives you six small things to do, instead of one big thing that you can be lost in. It’ll also help your writing stay organized and focused. A couple more tips: (1) Give yourself a break. If you find yourself drifting, take a deep breath, look around, say “I can do this,” and re-focus. It can help to have a ritual, like doodling a cat or saying a mantra (I will pass!) to yourself, to give a short break and then be back on track. (2) Eat before the test, layer your clothes so you won’t get too hot or cold, and choose a seat that won’t be distracting. Being hungry or by a window or cold or hot can ruin your concentration, so pay attention to your needs!

    Hope this helps!

    posted on November 4th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

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