Clear Thinking Stories

Well, I got thrown for a loop. I found out from my doctor I have something called Celiac Disease. It means my intestines are all messed up. Basically, I can’t eat any wheat, rye, barley, or oats, not even a little bit. I can’t digest it right, I guess.

Now, I’m a single guy, and you know what women always say about guys and the supermarket? It’s worse for me. I just pick up whatever is right in front of my nose, usually, so I don’t have to figure out what to get. But I can’t do that anymore. Now, there’s all kinds of things I can’t eat, and I’ve got to read the label on EVERYTHING.

When my doctor first diagnosed me, I thought, well, it’s not a big deal. I’ll just stop eating bread, and I’ll get mostly better, right? Well, that didn’t work out too well. My doctor sat me down and told me all about how my guts can’t heal unless I stop eating gluten, and how I could have all kinds of health problems in the future.  Anyway, I got to take this thing seriously is the point.

I guess what my doctor did was talk to me about Consequences, and that’s a big part of clear thinking. It’s not just having someone else tell me Consequences, either. I’ve got to really accept that those possibilities are real! I really could have colon cancer some day, and if it’s a choice between figuring out how to follow this diet and getting colon cancer… maybe that’s over-simplified, but there’s a lot of bad things that could happen, not to mention my stomach always giving me problems.

The first step was really knowing that I had to follow this diet, and like I said, Consequences was real important for that. But then, I had to figure out a way to do it! And what seemed to help most was finding out Information and thinking of Alternatives (like corn tortillas instead of bread). I met with a dietician to help me out. Then, I started a list of things I knew I could eat that were easy to buy. Every time I thought of something or found something, I’d just add it to the list, and I’d try to find something new in the grocery store each week. At first, it was a lot of fruits and baked potatoes and things like that. Then, as I found stuff that was okay (Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia!), by talking to people or companies, I’d add it to the list.

Sometimes I get home and see that I bought the wrong thing. Oh, well. I give stuff away all the time if I can’t eat it, and I just figure, that’s life!

Matt R.

My mother is like 84 years old, and she hasn’t been doing too good. She’s got a problem with her back, and she can’t walk without a walker. And she can’t see too good, either. Anyway, I have to work and I can’t take care of her, so mom’s had to go into a nursing care home. It’s the best one she could afford, and I don’t have a lot of extra money to help. But she’s been really unhappy there. She’s got to have a roommate, and she just hates her! They don’t fight, but every time her roommate leaves the room, mom just starts grousing about her.So, my mom came up with a plan to go move in with her little sister in Arkansas. Little sister! She’s in her seventies. I know she’s in good health, but something could happen to her at any time, at her age. I was real worried, but there’s nothing I can do to stop mom from moving away. I mean, she’s a grown woman, and it’s not like she’s senile or anything. But she’ll be so far away!

Anyway, I heard about this clear thinking, and I thought, well, maybe I can use it to think about my mom. I especially thought that maybe I should use the Viewpoints step, you know, thinking about other people’s points of view. I really started to think about how my mom’s thinking and feeling, and her little sister, too. I guess they want to be near each other, just like I’d like my mom near me. I mean, they grew up together all their lives, and they haven’t gotten to see each other too often. Me, I’ve had my mom with me all my life.

And my mom is an adult, after all, even though she’s gotten sick. She’s not stupid or anything. I guess she feels like she’s treated like a kid all the time, with people helping with her medicine and everything. Then, she really hates the place she is, especially her roommate, and it will be cheaper and nicer for her to live in Arkansas with someone she likes.

I guess I just feel like I oughtta be able to take care of my mom, now, like she always took care of me. I feel bad, like I failed. I guess that’s the “Attitudes” part of clear thinking. When I realized that, I started talking to my mom about it, and I guess I feel better. I’ve been talking with my aunt and checking on all of the arrangements and everything, to make sure my mom’s got the care she needs. I guess I see more how she feels about it now, and instead of fighting about it we more talked about it a lot, so in a way, we’re closer than ever. I think it’s clear thinking that let me understand why my mom’s making this move.

–Mary